We don’t lose anyone

Woke up one morning with a mix of thoughts and memories of events that took place recently and from a long time ago. The movie of my life was playing right before my eyes. As I recalled major events, synchronicities, tragedies and the most important lessons of my life. As I sat in bed, digesting these thoughts I woke up to, I pick up my phone and start reading some messages, one of them was a shared quote from a dear friend:

“When your intentions are pure, you don’t lose anyone” Jyoti - The light within

It was like a light bulb went on in my head for a split of a second and I had this knowing where everything suddenly made sense. I had written this article in my head in a matter of seconds yet unaware what I will write just the sam. Here I am, once again, writing channelled words..

This quote sparked a thought. A very prominent thought or I could say an ultimate conclusion. A summary to the many lessons I had to learn. Had these events not taken place the way they did, I may have not learned them. Perhaps I was meant to learn those lessons in that exact manner and timimg. It was just a matter of what I allowed into my experience by the choices I made.

So here I am sitting with this conclusion: ‘We don’t lose anyone’ just as that quote stated. There is a much deeper meaning than the obvious. Let me explain.

Indeed, we do not lose anyone in our lives that once upon a time mattered so much. Whether it was a conscious decision to part ways or people taken from our lives by death.

Let me touch on the later, because it is not as complicated, at least in my perspective. When someone you love passes away and they transition to the spirit world, you don’t really lose them. Yes, they are no longer here for you to experience them in the flesh. But your connection is never lost. All you have to do is learn how to experience them spiritually. They will always be there. You can still communicate, just not in the way you were used to. Sometimes, your connection grows stronger when you connect in the spirit world than when they were here in the physical. At least that’s my personal experience and several others that I have become aware of.

You don’t lose anyone to death. And for me, that’s a true statement.

As for the other interpretation of not losing anyone in the physical world. It is also a true statement. People come and go out of your life continuously. There are some people whom you have known your whole life. These people they are connected to you somehow. Possibly in your soul family. You see, I know this as my own truth.

Since we are souls living a human experience. We are all connected and we have soul families that reunite in each lifetime, staying in each other’s lives in different capacities each time around. Therefore, the concept that some people are meant to be physically present in your life, is not a strange concept for me.

Then there are those people with whom we experience a profound connection for a period of time. That period will vary from person to person, experience to experience. For a while, no matter how long, you seem to feel that this person will be in your life forever. Whether it’s a friend or a lover. They are people with whom you established a connection, made a conscious decision to invite into your life while making the effort to sustain them. Unlike family, you were born, and you found them there. There was no choice or decision to be made.

Having said that, we choose who we want to spend time with. We choose who we open up to and continue to keep close in our circle. Until something happens and the bond is broken for whatever reason. Maybe there was betrayal. Maybe they caused you deep pain. Maybe they abandoned you and treated you terribly. Maybe they were influenced by external factors to cut you out of their life. Maybe you were the one who decided you wanted to put an end to this bond for whatever reason and it all ended. The outcome ultimately, is they are no longer in your life the way they used to be.

You feel emptiness for a while. You may have regrets. You may go through withdrawal. You may get into a depression. You may not feel peace for a long time after their disappearance, possibly for the rest of your life.

In some cases, as I described, you decided to end it and walk away. Other cases, they ended it and walked away. I have found it to be harder when you are the one being left behind, versus when you are the one taking that action.

When you are the one ending the relationship, whether a friendship or a romantic relationship, you seem to be less affected by the outcome. Simply because you took the time to make that decision. So, you are prepared. That’s not saying you don’t hurt and become devastated too. You will be. But you won’t feel rejected or abandoned on top of it.

Contrary, when they are the one being left, you are not prepared for the separation. There is a shock factor. The acceptance isn’t there yet. Even if there was discussions and events leading up to the final straw. It still wasn’t you who decided to end it. Thus, you may feel rejection, abandonment, betrayal, unworthiness and so on.

You will notice the one initiating the separation, in some cases (not always), seem to move on faster. Again, not saying it will be easy for anyone involved. Yet, it has been proven that psychologically, the one who makes the decision and takes the action, even while it’s tearing them doing it, they end up healing faster from the break up.

How I want to tie this up with never really losing anyone, is not so much whether it was a decision we made or it was forced upon us. It’s more relevant to note that for whatever reason, this particular person wasn’t fitting in our journey of life, at that particular stage. For this reason, things happen the way they do, so they can make room for the next ones who are meant to be part of the experience at the next stage in our journey.

When we hold on so tightly to certain people and force certain circumstances to remain in our lives, we are blocking our own evolution and growth.

We don’t realize, it’s not by maintaining the familiar that we live in fulfillment, it is by unfulfilling our destiny and calling by being stuck and rigid that we don’t truly live.

Life is a journey. It’s like you are on a really long trip. For those who live a long life anyway. For some, it’s a really short one.

A trip always begins at one point and ends at another. We are born. And we die. Along the trip, you have many stops. First you prepare for the trip. That’s the stage when we are growing and learning. Setting the foundation. We are all packed, bought the ticket to whatever transportation method we will use. And off we go.

We meet people along the way. Some may be travelling with you using the same route and tag along. Some will be staying at the same hotel and taking the same bus or train. Some will have signed up for the same tours you booked before going on the trip. Some may have the same interests as you and it just feels great to connect.  

Some may change their plans along their trip and choose to join you on your tours. Go to dinners with you. Attend events with you. Go shopping with you. Hell, they may even extend their trip and stay longer with you until you travel to the next place or end it there.

Life is no different. You will meet people that will be there in certain parts of your journey. Some will continue with you either by fate or by choice. But along the way, you meet several others as your circumstances allow. Some will part ways early on, perhaps after fulfilling their purpose. They are not meant to be present throughout the whole journey, just part of it. During that time, you experience them. You bond. You learn from each other. You help each other. You exchange deep feelings and build an attachment. Even when you are not aware that this is taking place.

It’s that attachment that kills you when you separate. You get used to them being around. You build unreasonable expectations for them to be on the same journey you are on. It’s not wise to assume or expect that anyone else, other than you, want what you want.

We are all here on our own journeys. Sometimes you match with others. Sometimes not. Sometimes only for quarter the way or half the way. Never will you find someone who is there from the initial point to the end point. The separation will happen at some point along the way. You came here alone. And you will leave alone. In between, you experience not being alone and sharing that journey with as many as you end up allowing into your experience. 

Perhaps I have blabbed on for long with this point. I’m just so passionate about the subject. I wish and pray that everyone gets to know this truth about our existence. We are here on our individual journeys. We don’t lose anyone. We meet and we experience what we need to experience and we carry on. It’s so simple. But we complicate it by our attachments and inability to see the big picture of who we are and why we are here.

The next time you get that thought - because it is just a thought - that you lost someone. Get back to your inner self. Recognize the attachment. Become aware of how you hold yourself back from truly living the life you are meant to live.