When men get married
What happens to men when they tie the knot? Why do they change dramatically? Some change to the better, while some to the worst, in comparison to who they were showing themselves to be before marriage. Every case is different, not all men are the same, however, the common denominator is that they do change.
That's not saying women don't change, they do. On a general note, they become more mature and responsible. A lot of men mature as well and take on the responsibility. While some continue to behave just like they were at Mama's house. They switch their dependency mode from mom to wife. It may seem that they have transferred the roles they were used to before marriage, onto their wives. Wifey is now supposed to clean after them, pick up their clothes from the floor, cook for them, do their laundry, iron their clothes, and take care of the house. At times also acting as a nurse, career guidance, financial advisor, and psychiatrist. And the best part of getting married, for men, is that now they can "get it" whenever they want or so they think.
These days it is already hard to get a man to commit, but when they do, usually they are ready for that step. But no matter how ready you think you are, once you are in the situation, you realize it's not what you imagined at all. It's not all about spending time together in your own home and having fun. Things change. In other words, life happens. Depending on how long it takes till wifey gets pregnant, some marriages don't have a lot of time to settle before adding new members to the family. This can have a tremendous effect on the foundation of the marriage as it hasn’t settled yet. Couples need some time to adjust to living together under the same roof before jumping to having babies.
Generally speaking, most men require a lot of attention from their wives. They like to be babied and pampered. They love it when their wife surprises them with a romantic sexy night. They want to have sex all the time. It's natural to them. It's in their nature. But when wifey is busy with work and house chores and add to that when she becomes pregnant, everything changes in this household. The connection changes.
Some men are understanding, supportive and loving to their wives while they go through dramatic changes to their bodies and emotions. From morning sickness to midnight cravings to tantrums and mood swings. If a man doesn't have it in him to handle the things that will be thrown at him, he will fall apart. And some men do. They become angry, they almost feel like they made a mistake and ask themselves secretly "what have I gotten myself into? Wasn't it better when I was single?"
It is overwhelming to be in this position. The man feels responsible for his woman and his baby. The baby comes and it changes everything. He falls in love all over again. His feelings of joy and pride is indescribable. He is happy beyond belief with his son or daughter. Even more grateful and affectionate towards his wife. As a matter of fact, he develops a new kind of love for her. She is not only his friend and wife, but also the mother of his child. He witnessed her sufferings during pregnancy, delivery and post delivery. The first few days and weeks are so overwhelming for both of them. However, at some point during the adjusting stage, things may go in a different direction. When the man starts to crave for his wife's attention, that is now fully directed to the baby. Men are like children in a way, they get a bit jealous and they want to feel important by their wives. And that's where it can get sticky.
Women's priorities change when they have a baby, their hormones do as well. Their desire to have sex changes along with some insecurities that might develop due to dramatic changes to the body after pregnancy. It can also be a mental struggle where it almost feels wrong to enjoy having sex with their husband allowing them to touch certain areas that now is priority for the baby. It can really get complicated with the couple if there is not enough patience from both sides. Communication is a must in these times. The couple must not allow the lack of sexual intimacy to affect their closeness and love for one another. Men in particular might need to tolerate some tough times and may have to endure being deprived of doing some things they were used to before baby's arrival. And usually, I must say, men endure and they do pass through this time, one day looking back at it and realizing they were being silly.
Marriage teaches a man things he would not otherwise learn, had he not created this family. But only if they allow themselves and be open to experience all that comes with the responsibility. Men may act spoiled at times, needy at other times and perhaps not understanding and demanding. But in the end, most men learn to become what they never thought they could be. And they live a life they may have not imagined. Moreover, they may realize one day, they wouldn't have it any other way.
