Every Woman’s Scripture
To every woman out there, take some time to digest this. It may be what you needed to hear. And it may be the answers to your prayers.
Did you know that the behaviour you tolerate at the start of a new relationship SETS THE TONE for how you are treated after the honeymoon is over?
Are you focusing on impressing the New Person? Or are you communicating your boundaries?
Are you allowing your emotions to cloud your judgment?
Are you getting caught up in the physical attraction, the chemistry, the intensity, the hot and what seems to be destiny?
Are you feeling euphoric?
Are you falling head over heels so fast you don’t know how it happened?
Well … I’m gonna stop you right there and challenge you.
YES you know. You wanted to feel this. You have been waiting for that. And when it came your way, you grabbed it like your life depended on it. And you erased your mind and placed all your senses and experience in a bottle and into the freezer it went.
Until one day, you grabbed it because you needed it. It was taking too long to thaw out for you to wrap your mind around what’s really going on.
Harsh? Yeah. I know. I’m sorry. I just have to say it like it is. Because that’s what most women do, including myself.
I tried to describe it as best as I could. It feels like that’s what we do. Some of us are quite experienced in life, well educated, wisdom beyond our years. Yet we fall in the trap of a toxic and abusive relationship.
We gravitate towards people who come with heavy baggage of troubles and demons. We are innately nurturing and so we find ourselves falling in love with broken and lost souls. We believe we are here to fix them. Like it’s our responsibility. We choose to see the best part in them. Ignoring how the worst in them can actually break us in return. For some of us utter destruction.
I say this while opening my heart to each and every woman reading this.
You are complete on your own.
Your worth is not measured by how many souls you attempt to save
You are not meant to live as a martyr
Happiness is not found only when you are in a “Relationship”
The “One” doesn’t exist. It’s matching each other and willingness from both to make your UNITY sacred and special. It takes “Two”
Back to taking responsibility and understanding how the early stages of a relationship is the foundation on which it is built.
The red flags you dismiss. The behaviours that don’t sit well in your stomach that you end up justifying and ignoring. The intellect that points out a few signs, revealing this is not the right person for you, but you jump right in anyway. You know why? Because you just want to try and see if maybe you are wrong.
You learned not to judge and you learned you must give people benefit of the doubt. You learned time always proves what’s right. You say to yourself: “Oh well, if it doesn’t work, at least I tried.”
Here is what you are essentially doing:
Doubting your instinct
Overriding your senses
Second guessing your ability to make a correct observation
Settling for less because of a need this person has the potential to provide
Holding on to a fantasy
Not valuing your time - you are willing to gamble with it to see where it will take you (time never comes back)
Underestimating and almost being naive in thinking it will be as simple as - leave it if it doesn’t work - not taking in account how complicated and intertwined your life will be “the longer you stay to SEE if it will work”
Also underestimating the power of attachment when you are emotionally connected
You are ultimately making a decision about a situation where the dynamic will have different influence on YOU then, versus now. Your decision needs to be about what you see NOW. What you are uncomfortable with NOW. Not later.
Remember everything you accept, let go, excuse, justify or dismiss becomes the problem later on in the relationship
You are teaching them what you accept - even if you remain silent & unsatisfied.
They are conditioning you to accept
Disrespect
Crossing your boundaries
Invading your space
Stripping away your independence
Chipping at your worth
Overall behaving in unacceptable ways
While you allow this and not taking a firm stand, unknowingly you are handing over your power, self-respect, independence, and self-worth. Until you no longer recognize yourself. When you finally wake up:
You are in a toxic relationship
Alone
Shattered
Confused
Traumatized
Prevention is the best Medicine. What’s done is done. The past is in the past. You learned the old ways don’t work.
From now on… the new You will:
Know her worth
Not settle for less
Love herself
She comes first
Set her boundaries
Consequences to follow
Love unconditionally
Not naively
Guard her space
It’s sacred
Respect her body
Demanding the same from others
Value her time
It’s precious
Share wisely
Some things are not meant to be shared
Take her time
Allowing time to reveal everything
Say no when it’s a No
With No guilt or fear of rejection
Mean what she says
Only saying what she means
Live with dignity
It’s not about Ego
Preserve her independence & individuality
Being in a relationship need not take that away
Communicate openly and frequently
The only way to have a healthy relationship
Learn when to step back
Sometimes it is necessary
Understand it’s not her responsibility to fix or change anyone to the “better”
Take them as they are or leave them
Give of herself
With limits & without losing herself in giving
Do her best to support and guide
Not taking on what doesn’t belong to her
Recognize when she has done all she can
It’s time to let the relationship go
Forgive herself for not knowing what she didn’t know
Always doing her best with her “NOW”
I can go on and on. You get the message. Right?
My intention in writing this is to open your eyes, plant the seed, remind you of what you already know, encourage you to reconnect with yourself, guide you if even a little to remember how special and unique you are. You are a beautiful soul. You are perfect as you are. You are on a journey just as each one of us are. You are figuring it out as you go. No one has all the answers.
In closing, I leave you with these TRUTHS:
You are WORTHY!
You are ENOUGH!
You are RESILIENT!
You are CAPABLE!
You are UNIQUE!
YOU ARE LOVE!
