The story that defines you

We all have our stories to tell. Stories are summaries of events that took place once upon a time and left a mark on our psyche, and we book-marked it or, in this case, ‘mind-marked’ it. Meanwhile, we go about our lives creating new stories and new mind-marks. Some we never forget. They seem to hold the key to our hearts, the key to our happiness, the key to our peace. Do you have one specific story that holds that much power in your life? Or do you have a few of them?

I am not one to shy away from exposing myself in my writings, as my intentions are simply to use my life as an example. If it helps you, then I am happy to share.

Stories, for me, have changed the way I look at life. My views changed as I grew wiser and evolved in my spiritual awakening. I no longer see or believe things I once did. My transformation and spiritual awakening have led me to a path I had no idea existed. Here I am, from this space I speak to you.

I used to believe that everything that happened TO ME was my story. I used to think that my story was my destiny. I also used to allow my stories to define who I am and how I live my life. Today, I can tell you it is no more.

My stories don’t define me. What happened in the past doesn’t define me. Who I have chosen to be and how I have chosen to show up until the minute that just passed doesn’t define me either. I am now aware that I have a choice each moment to be and act differently. Nothing forces me to be a certain way. No one is influencing me. And no past experience has a hold over me.

I still have TRAUMAS that require more healing. PAIN that I’m sorting through, MEMORIES at times haunting me, NEGATIVE emotions or thoughts taking over me. No matter how evolved I am as a spiritual being, I am fully aware of my human side, and I fully embrace it.

I have learned not to be hard on myself or judge myself when I experience those moments. Because in the end, they are just moments. I always find my way back to my inner knowing. The stories I tell are nothing but events that were part of my journey on earth. Events that either had to happen or I contributed to them happening. Either way, they are pieces of the puzzle that shape my life.

Some of my stories are painful, while others are joyful. When told, they can be a source of inspiration and laughter just as much as sorrow and sympathy. Indeed, stories can invoke emotions. In such moments, we become so attached that we identify ourselves with those events. We become that event. We become that story. We confuse who we are with the events that unfolded. At times, stuck in a victimhood story, sulking, and woe is me.

“Why did this happen to me? Why are they doing this to me? Why do I have such bad luck? And this always happens to me.” 

These types of thoughts are a result of being identified with our stories. This type of processing is never productive but destructive. And at times addictive.

Indeed, we become addicted to living in a victimized state. This is where we take no responsibility for our choices and actions. We don’t even recognize that we have a role to play in any outcome. We are solely focused on our external environment. We are wrapped up in finding someone else to blame, something else is the cause, and the pointing of fingers never ends. Not realizing this is merely an escape. It’s an escape from looking within. From being true to oneself, allowing yourself to be naked for you to see the truth that seems so hard at times to bear.

The truth is that we create our realities by our thoughts, which are then followed by a series of events, ultimately turning out as a story.

From that point, we choose to make our STORY the point of reference, to which we keep revisiting, justifying to ourselves and others why we are the way we are. And why we have to act as such. We excuse our destructive habits and coping mechanisms, passing them off as a means for our protection. Meanwhile, it is our hindrance to growth and healing. 

Stories are not meant to define us. We make them define us. Stories from the past do not have power over our present, we give them that power. Stories are not our realities. We convince ourselves they are.

Change your beliefs. Change your thoughts. Change your actions. Change your story.